The Coffee Shop Conundrum
Recently I came back from a trip to Oxford. The journey home to Snowdonia usually takes 4 hours sometimes more, sometimes 15–20 minutes less. The roads, as usual, were very busy. So many people driving, who knows where to or where from. Some maniacs weaving in and out of the traffic trying to get ahead. Trying to cut a few minutes off their journey for reasons only they know. I’m never surprised when I hear of an accident, because the standard of driving seems to me to be getting much worse. People texting whilst driving, talking on the phone and generally not paying attention to what’s around them.
I just toodled along because I was in no rush. But every time I’ve done this jourey over the past 4 years it’s the same story. People in an apparently desperate rush to be somewhere. I know. I get it, because that was me a few years ago.
But this isn’t about road safety. It’s not about an old guy ranting about the way younger people behave. It’s about presence.
I stopped at Warwick services to get a coffee. The queue was long but I was in no rush so I joined it. When I looked behind me I made eye contact with a woman who smiled. I smiled back and we struck up a conversation. We talked about how busy it was, the roads, usualy small talk. Then she asked me how I coped with it. But before I answered, I pushed the question back to her.
I did that because this was no ordinary woman. She had a shaven head and wore glasses and bright red robes. She was a Buddhist nun and she had the most radiant smile and presence I’ve seen in a long time. She told me that she just accepted it because there was nothing she personally could do, other that get angry. And that would serve no practical purpose.
I asked her about how long she had lived that life and what was involved. I’m not religious and I’m not about to shave my head, but she spoke so much sense. She told me a story about being in a monastery when a window opened and she looked up to see the visiting Dalai Lama. They exchanged words and she asked him for guidance on an issue she was wrestling with. He said 3 simple words that she initially struggled to understand. ‘Be Here Now’. She told me that she looked quizzically and he just repeated the words. Then she said ‘the penny dropped and I understood what I needed to do. I stopped worrying about te future or regretting some things in the past. I can’t change the past, but I can influence the future through the actions I take.’
This is a true story and I have no reason to believe she was an imposter or that she told me a lie. Why would she?
As I continued my drive home I looked at the drivers zooming past, some texting, others speaking on the phone and I wondered how many of them were in the present. How many were worrying about something that had happened or could happen. I’ll never know. But I thanked that nun for her company and the 10 minutes we spent together made me smile and reflect on what I sometimes do. From now on I will try to ‘Be Here Now’ far more often.